There Ain't Nothing But Darkness Around This Bend

Unfortunately I've come to realize that Mike Hamm lets hot babes slip from his fingers like sweet salted butter. We went to see the Reggae legend U Roy at the Casper Inn last night, just north of Mendocino. It was a wild scene in there, and I didn't know what to do with myself, so I drank. I drank a lot. I drank vodka tonics and chatted with Mike about things that are long gone from my memory and I let my eyes drift like sexual smoke across the scene of dreadlocks, work pants, and peaceful warriors. There was nothing to be done, so I drank more and found myself within the clutch of a woman with a 2 year old child at home. She was lonely. She needed a friend. So I chatted. We danced a little. She flirted, and I parried her advances for reasons unknown to me now. I should have have let her in. Sure, a 2 year old seems strange, but she was cute, 5'10", ready to rock. Sometimes I question myself and the things I do. If anyone knows me, they would say. "You better fucking question yourself." They say that because I perform questionable acts of shame on a regular basis. More regular than and more questionable than the average human at least. What average am I talking about?

Well ladies and gentleman, why won't you throw me a bone and question why I didn't go home with a 28 year old lady? I'll never know. She kissed me on the cheek goodbye, and the first thing I thought was the last thing she kissed was her babies soft fuzzy head. There she slipped into the darkness towards an unknown car and was gone from the night.

Mike meanwhiles blew his chances with some young stoned airhead of a girl. He wanted to dick her down, but good ol' Butterfingers Mike Hamm doesn't slam babes, he let's them slip through his greasy fingers like butter.